2015 in Snapshots

2015

2015, you’ve been my fortune cookie wisdom. And here’s why…

January- I finally ticked off learning how to drive from my #lifegoals list. Prashant recently called me a “driving landslide”, but hey, littlebug (my car) and I have many adventures to look forward to. Anyone want to join me for a road-trip; free entertainment promised.

February- Dreamers are believers. February taught me that I can’t sit and wait around for things to happen. It kicked me right in the ass and told me to start believing in my dreams- which includes a Justin Bieber concert. #Bielieberforever

March- Had the most fabulous “surprise” birthday party ever and confirmed that I do have the best friends anyone could ask for. Psst… you know who you are and you can’t have them.

memories from 2015

April- I quit a job that demanded a little too much of myself from me- if you get what that means. It also taught me some of my biggest learnings- one, being able to stand by my work.

June- Blue skies, Bintang and absolutely nothing to do, Bali showed me there’s so much more to life that whiling it away in Bangalore’s traffic. Also, even if our #squadgoals are just the two of us- Lekha, you’re the wanderer I want by my side. Can we please book our tickets now?

July- And just like that, I booked flight tickets to Dubai to go spend a few fun-filled days with Prashant. Ask me to run away with you and I’m forever ready my love!memories from 2015

August- Petrichor, Pondicherry and hope. A month where mixed emotions played on repeat mode. It took me some time to find my stride back. Looking back, it was just a little storm that brought along clear blue skies.

September- Oh, September. I don’t think you had much to give, but we were good to each other.

October- Attended my first fashion week ever! Now I no longer have to hide under a rock when people talk about how “boring” fashion week was. FYI I loved every sequin-capturing-second of it.

November- Bangalore is officially home now. Got the keys to our empty but beautiful apartment here in Bangalore, and can’t wait for the #famjam to make a home in 2016. Thank you Dad.

December- The best month EVER! Prashant and I finally made things official, the Gujratis and Biharis have a maddening year coming up. In all the happy commotion, I felt so lucky and overwhelmed to have family and friends by our side. Also, I got to wear my Raw Mango saree!

memories from 2015
2016, you’ll have to keep up with me…
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Petrichor & Gratitude

pondicherry la maison roseSometimes, 370kms (and a bonus 10km courtesy of Google Maps) is all you need to rediscover yourself. A long road ahead, myriad landscapes, deeper conversations and a yearning of petrichor, that’s the mood-to-feel. Staring out the window, a sense of nostalgia and panic clouded my thoughts. Panic. I’ve been feeling it for some time, often mistaking it for confusion, comfort and regret. I know, I know they say (Pinterest quotes) don’t live life with regrets, but how could you not? I’ll leave that to judgment. Some people, like my dad, have a gift to assess the situation, and make close-to-perfect decisions (adios Murphy’s Law). I, however, am led by emotions- careless and often, selfish.
But here’s the thing, I don’t mind being selfish. Dining for one, living for one, and being at peace with oneself, is something that needed to be learnt. Prashant moved to Dubai two years ago, and since, it’s been quite a lonely journey. Don’t feel sorry for me just yet, because in all honesty, it’s the solitude that taught me so much about myself. The good, bad and ugly. Before this, I’d never seen so many TV serials, never cooked a pie-for-one, and never loved as much as I do now. Yup, the whole long distance thing, makes you thank the little things that didn’t matter before. Like him folding laundry, sitting in my balcony or holding my hand. I miss that.
During this time, I also built stronger relationships with friends who were already “there” for me. It showed me that love means so much more than just loving your “one”. And no, these peeps are not selfish souls. They’re selfless. Thank you Lekha. You’ve been stronger than strong for me.
Sitting on the Pondicherry promenade, in a slightly ecstatic mood (we’d just had a long conversation, with half our words eaten by EDM), I kind of had a mini-epiphany. I’m 29 (uhuh!), half way to becoming a bride (eeks!), have a job that allows me to talk fashion all day long, a family I love (have you seen my phone bills?), and friends I’d never exchange, not even if you gave me a rainbow-haired unicorn! So that panic, those regrets, that selfishness, it’s sometimes the negativity that makes life look so promising and positive.
And just like the smell of moist mud, after a long dry spell, there’s hope… Hope that the heavens’ will shower a good dose of blessings.
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5 Life Lessons from Monument Valley


Ok, so I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a geek when it comes to gaming, but Monument Valley had me within the first two minutes of play and left me with a pleasant feeling for the unpredictable.  For those of you who still haven’t ventured into this beautifully complex world, Monument Valley is Ida’s adventure or quest to find forgiveness. From whom, you ask? I really don’t know and I don’t think it matters. However what matters is the jaw dropping, surprising and intricate details this game involves. It’s representation of an individual’s journey of absolution. Ida’s or yours? I’ll let you ponder on that.
Inspired from M.C. Escher’s illusory work, temple architecture, sacred totems and the quest to unlock secrets, Monument Valley isn’t about killing, competing or violence, instead it’s a journey of exploration and reflection. I for sure, feel my chi all balanced. After several months of visiting this world and being in a state of reverie, I’ve learnt a few things from Ida, the hidden walls, the wise spirit and the crows! You might too.
1.          Bravery and Ida the Silent Princess- Dressed in a white dress, there’s not much you know about Ida. Hints of her mysterious past are revealed to us by the Wise Spirit, who calls her “ a thieving princess”, however no one knows why she did. Do we need to? I don’t think so, instead I commend her bravery and her longing to ask for forgiveness. What I learnt? It takes courage to be brave.

2.        Forgiveness– It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness, even if it means taking a risque journey and experiencing everything from crazy crows, to mind boggling walls. I’m not someone who generally holds a grudge neither do I intentionally try to hurt someone, but I’m no saint and I’m sure I’ve upset a many. I think it’s important to forgive and ask for forgiveness, the world has enough problems and you sure don’t want to be a contributor.
3.        Obstacles and the Crazy Crows-  Okay, I’ll agree, the crows aren’t that bad, it’s not like they throw bombs at you or poo on you (happened to me today morning)! However along the hidden walls, the crows and their caws pose as obstacles (irritating ones).  Lesson being, you’re always always going to face obstacles along your path, people and circumstances that can hinder your journey, but it’s really up to you to stay focused and follow through.  Always follow through.
4.           Guidance and the Wise Man- You learn a lot of things from the past, the good, bad and ugly. These memories and events help build who are in the future. You  try not to make the same mistakes again, you act wiser about things. Sometimes, just sometimes, you might forget, and that’s why the Wise Man is there to remind Ida and guide her to the next leg of the journey. Take the guidance and be wiser.
5.          Journeys and Hidden Walls- I like to think I’m a planner, I like to know things before I go ahead with it, I’m not careless in my spontaneity, however I’ve learnt that not all the planning in the world can stop you from facing “hidden walls”. You never know when life can close and open doors for you, but I say keep knocking at em’ doors and let your hidden walls guide you to mysterious places.

Now off you go on a journey to explore forgotten shores… 

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BE

journalApologies in advance! To you, me and anyone who expected to find something in this spot. It’s been a good ten months or so since I last posted. Honestly, I’ve got a handful of reasons for not posting- I could blame it on a demanding job, a creative block, laziness or all of the above. I could have easily deleted my blog, instead of letting it collect “internet webs”, and Blogger does allow you 90 days before you bid your final adieu. But something told me to hold on.

And here I am again, typing away again. I feel like I’m on a mission, something of the sorts like going to the moon. It’s just as exciting for me and I’ll be letting out some of these big plans very very soon. But for now, a little thought I wanted to share with you all. When the year started, Pinterest popped a colourful image on my feed. It said “Be”.

I saved the image and had it as my iPhone wall paper for the longest time (till yesterday precisely). I’d often get asked what it meant, and I’d reply “Just Be” (with a smile of course). It struck me that I had spent my whole adult life trying to define success and trying to be someone I’m not. Sure I’ve got goals, ambitions and things I want to do, but I’ve let how others do it, define my success. Not anymore. No more. Instead I choose to “Be”. To be in this moment, to be who I am, to dream (even if it’s about doing nothing) and believe in me.

Be  /bi:/
verb

1. exist
2. occur: take place
3. having the state, quality, identity, nature, role, etc.
4. say

So go on, be a dreamer and believer. My wallpaper now says that.

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Romantic Adventurer, Am I?

My father says I’ve got his genes, top to bottom. He says I’m a risk taker and a go-getter. I’d like to believe I’m an over-achiever like him, but I have miles to go before I can self-proclaim to be one! However, I like to snuggle up to the idea that I am a risk-taker.
I am- I did jump off a dam- a scouts promise!
That’s probably the biggest self-harming risk I took in my life, but today I’m not talking about that kind of risk. I’m talking about the risk, more often than never, ends up stabbing a knife in your heart- twisting and lingering till it really, really hurts- they call it LOVE! Ouch- I can still feel it.
So, I’m kind of assuming you’re feeling it too- if you’re not, then girl, you got yourself a golden goose- you can stop reading here or come back when you do feel it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a believer and dreamer in all things romantic. When my first “true” love broke up with me, I took the journey of “once bitten, twice shy”, but like New Year’s resolutions, it didn’t last very long! I’ve had my moments with a high school romance, blind dates (never again), social media flirting and the current- college boyfriend-lover- best friend a.k.a Prashant.
What’s the risk in all this? Well if you’ve ever gone on a blind date, then you’ll know the “risks” I am talking about. There a tonne load of risks you experience or take, each to his own- let’s not argue who has taken a bigger or deadlier one. My risk is- falling madly in love and making a commitment. Sounds like any other relationship right?
I’m not going to get into the reasons for why I love (dil se) him, however I will tell you why I chose to take a ‘risk’ and commit to this person- commitment- a sense of belonging, a need for the other, a want to his face, a fight that makes things stronger, a struggle to grow together and a commitment that means “I’m in it for life” – even if I get fatter and you become bald!
I often mistook commitment to a “wedding date”. That’s how our parents, peers and elders define how “committed” a boy is to you. I however, beg to differ. Of course I want to get married- I want the whole charade of a wedding! However, like most things in life- it hasn’t quite worked out like that. Instead I sit miles away, from my boy, holding onto a fine thread of hope called- committed love. That’s the risk.
The risk is not knowing what day we’ll be together- I’ve already looked at the 2014 calendar, anticipating a date! The risk is not knowing what will happen tomorrow- will he still love me or will I still love him? The risk is defying society for him- whatever it takes. The risk is being judged and questioned. “Beta, when will you get married? You want to study? Find yourself a nice boyfriend”- they say. I always smile courteously and say “not yet”.
The risk is loving someone fiercely and not knowing ….
Why I continue to take this risk and demand no wedding band, just yet? I have hope, strength and a hand holding onto me so tight that says ‘trust me’- I do. I have parents who are my BFFs. I have girlfriends who can sit around snotty tissues and empty bottles of vodka. I have brothers who are my knights.
He’s no prince-charming, he did break my heart once- the stabbing type- but I carry on to believe in the mystical power called ‘love’ and in him.
I don’t know if you’ll get a wedding invite from our bond, but you will find me say over and over – take the bloody risk- you’ll never know if you didn’t try. And if it hurts too much- a little consolation- you’ll get stronger.
Take the road less traveled- embark on an adventure with your love. An adventure that says “The decision I make is my own- this is how I choose to live life and I choose him to be my fellow traveller”.
So I say cheers to risks – I’m on an adventure not worth ending- not yet- maybe never…
To my love and best friend.
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